NC17: Talk of Lancer and Bee (Saturday)

[Cres]

[[cont. from the beach thread. Was the best headline I could think up. ]]

Bee followed Lancer to the table and sat down. She put her hands on the table, her fingetips together, looking down at them. She carefully avoided looking at Lancer. She wasn't sure why. She was feeling a little better now, though still uncomfortable.

His question threw her off balance enough to look up at him, her eyes wide with shock and hurt that came from the question being slapped down like that. She could see he was just as shocked of saying it - which didn't make her feel any better. Then she looked down again and shrugged, uncomfortable. It wasn't his fault, really, as much as it wasn't hers. Or was it her fault? What had happened? She wasn't sure.

"I guess we both changed," she said finally, awkwardly. "I... you... I don't know."

[Sharise]

Lancer visibly relaxed. He was glad that Bee hadn't freaked out, and her answer wasn't bad either. She definitely had a point.

"Yeah, I guess so." He shook his head and chuckled very briefly. His smile faded slowly. "But I suppose that's normal." A sigh escaped through the teen's lips. "Growing up's a bitch, huh?" Lancer's expression was genuine as he looked at the girl sitting across from him. He knew that he'd never be able to tell Bee the real reason he broke up with her. Hell, the only person who knew was Luke, and he wasn't going to say a word.

"Bee..." Lancer tilted his head and leaned forward onto the table. "I want you to know that I'm sorry." He licked his lips. It wasn't in his nature to apologize for anything. "I know that once we broke up, I just stopped talking to you. It wasn't anything personal. There was just a lot going on with my family at the time and as a result, I went through some pretty obvious changes. I never meant to hurt you in any way."

[Cres]

Bright Eyes smiled a little, it was difficult, as she wasn't sure what to think about what Lancer said. It was one of those moments again, one of those moments that he behaved so nice toward her, he was being more like his old self. She almost got tears into her eyes again as she remembered how they had been. Though she had to ask herself, how good had they been? How good could they have been, for things to go here?

She wiped the corner of her eye to make sure there were no tears there as she looked at Lancer, carefully.

"I... I don't really know, Lancer," she said quietly. "I don't blame you. I don't think. I don't know what I think anymore. I just don't understand... what really happened. But it wasn't your fault, I mean, I..." She realised she didn't know what she was saying anymore, and she turned her face away, wiping another tear from the corner of her eye, this time big enough to wet her hand.

[Sharise]

"Bee..." Lancer's eyes widened slightly. "No, don't cry. I'm not good with this sort of thing." He got up and moved to where Brighteyes was, and knelt down on the ground beside her.

"I can't even comfort my brothers and sister properly. I always end up either scaring them to death with weird faces, or I just end making a complete ass of myself. Which, in turn, makes them smile." He looked down, caught up in his own thoughts. "Damn. I fail at life." It was one of those rare moments when the boy completely dropped his hard ass act and reverted to his old personality. This was the side of him that Luke mostly saw.

[Cres]

Bright Eyes looked at Lancer with slightly wide eyes as he kneeled in front of her. For a fraction of a second her mind reverted into her dreams of him proposing, just like that, kneeling, though on one knee with a straight back and in circumstances far different from these. The moment passed quickly, but it left behind the distinct impression in her mind that here, right now, he was not the way he had acted for most of the past years.

She thought she recognised him again. And it made the tears dry away and warmth rise in her heart. She reached forth and brushed her fingers over Lancer's cheek, gently.

"No," she said quietly, even if she wasn't sure if she really thought so. She didn't approve of the life Lancer seemed to be leading these days. Or the company he kept, in all ways. There was something about Luke she had never really liked. Perhaps, subconsciously, she had picked up on something between the two boys, and she was jealous. She couldn't know, she wasn't even fully aware of any negative feelings toward Luke. But right now, her mind was far from any thoughts of Luke. She wanted to comfort Lancer, but she didn't know how. "I just... I tend to think... it was my fault. Somehow. I'm never good enough."

[Sharise]

Lancer's eyes slowly trailed up the length of Bee's body and up to her eyes. The girl's touch warmed him from inside out. He found himself unable to keep up his tough guy act.

"Bee..." He placed a hand on top of hers. "Don't say that. You are good enough. It's just..." He took a deep breath. "We're not good for each other. Neither of us can deny that. We'd only end getting hurt in the end." He slowly rose and sat in the chair beside her, his hand now holding hers. "You deserve someone who will treat you right. Someone like Phin." He raised a brow. "Don't think I haven't noticed."

[Cres]

Bee blushed when he mentioned Phin. She looked down, smiling just a little, uncertain exactly how she should react.

"Oh, eh, well... he's nice." She looked up at him. "But I don't think he likes me. He's just being friendly."

[Sharise]

"Well," Lancer shifted in his seat. "I don't know him well enough to tell. Even if he doesn't have those feelings for you, it's still obvious that he does care for you." He smiled. "Which is saying a lot for a guy like Phin, I know that much."

It felt nice to be like this. To be able to just sit and talk with someone other than Luke. Not that Lancer didn't love what he had with the teen, he did. But lately, he had shut himself down from everyone but Luke. He couldn't figure out why he felt so comfortable with Bee right now. And secretly, he hoped it would remain that way.

[Cres]

Bee's feelings on the matter went much the same lines as Lancer's. Even though she still had feelings for Lancer, she was determined to try to turn them into simple friendship, rather than moon over what she could never have. Most of all this went on in a subconscious level. It felt in a way strange to talk calmly like this with her old boyfriend about a possible future boyfriend. But the fact that there seemed to be no jealousy in his voice made Bee feel open about it. There was no telling what she would have felt had it been the other way around - Lancer talking to her about another girl (or guy) - but she didn't think that right now. It was enough to her that everything seemed well right now.

She looked down and without really realising it, as her mind was now preoccupied with what they were talking about, she leant her head a little against Lancer's shoulder.

"I guess so," she said. "But I'm not very good with relationships that way. I'm so busy. It's a wonder I'm here at all. I actually should be studying right now."

[Sharise]

A smile spread across Lancer's face as Bee laid her head against his shoulder. His hopes were high at this point. It really did seem like they could have a friendship after tonight.

"I really never understood why you study so much. You're one of those people that can get straight A's without ever opening a book." It didn't cross his mind at the moment that people always said the same about him. Then again, he had tested in at genius levels and was offered to skip two grades but had declined the offer years ago. "Besides, everyone needs to make time for a little bit of fun."

[Cres]

"I'm not that good," Bright Eyes objected quietly, blushing a little. She truly believed she wasn't. In fact, she believed she was not nearly as good as she ought to have been. "And this is the last year. We have to work hard for the grades. I mean, this is the year that'll decide on the rest of our lives."

[Sharise]

"Bee..." Lancer smiled. "With your grades, I really don't think you have anything to worry about. The Universities will welcome you with open arms. So relax, enjoy life."

[Cres]

Bee looked down and shifted her feet.

"You never know," she said. "I mean, grades are sure only when you get the course to the end." She shrugged. "Oh well. You know, we haven't really talked in... so long time." She wanted to change the subject, and looked at him. "What are you up to these days? Any plans after high school? I remember you wanted to become an explorer or something."

[Sharise]

Lancer couldn't help but smile as the subject changed. "Well, I mainly stick around the house. Taking care of the kids and hanging out with Luke. On the weekends I'll usually go out to clubs and parties." He shrugged, his life wasn't as crazy as people seemed to think.

"As far as college..." He tilted his head. "It doesn't really matter what I want, my dad is going to give me the family businesses anyway." Lancer hoped that hadn't come off as a brag, seeing as how he didn't feel it was. He didn't have any interest in what the family did. But it was something he'd have to take care of anyway.

[Cres]

Bee didn't think it was bragging at all. She had always known where Lancer was coming from. But she also had always thought of something not many did. She looked at Lancer from under her brows.

"But that isn't necessarily what you want," she said softly. "I don't know... I think my dad wants me to continue his work in the newspaper. I'm not sure if I want to. I guess most fathers are like that."